Apple recently unveiled the Vision Pro, its long-awaited virtual reality headset, thrilling Apple enthusiasts who have eagerly awaited the chance to pay $3,499 for it. The Vision Pro allows users to escape the horrors of the real world by transporting them to an enticing virtual world where everything must be purchased from Apple.
Tim Cook, the C.E.O. of Apple, said the Vision Pro was the company’s biggest breakthrough since the iPhone. “This is the first virtual-reality system that is both breathtakingly expensive and requires you to buy all new accessories,” he said.
While putting on the sleek Vision Pro headset, users will find themselves in a barren virtual expanse with nothing visible except the Apple logo. To see or do anything else, they must of course purchase virtual accessories, which include:
iEyes: $999, which enables the user to see.
iEars: $999, to enable hearing.
iKeyboard: $499, to enable communication with other virtual beings.
iKeyboard Charging Cable: $99, to enable users to connect to their iKeyboard.
iKeyboard 20W USB-C Power Adapter: $129, to enable users to connect their iKeyboard Charging Cable to a virtual power outlet.
iChair, for $1,999, to give the virtual user a place to sit down.
“The exciting thing is that, once you’re immersed in the virtual world of the Vision Pro, the opportunities to buy expensive virtual goods from Apple are literally endless,” Cook said.
Users can also purchase virtual real estate, with a small iHouse starting at $1.2 million. Larger iMansions offer stunning views of the iSan Francisco skyline and iGolden iGate iBridge, all for just $4 million. If users want to traverse their iProperty, the iCar starts at only $250,000. And if at any point users get hungry, Apple will charge their credit card $49 for a iGranola Bar. For more hearty iMeals, iSteak and iLobster is only $199 and you can wash it all down with iDrinks like iWater, iWine, or iChampagne for just $79 a glass. “We think Vision Pro users will go absolutely wild for these irresistible iDeals,” Cook said.
The Vision Pro drew raves from longtime Apple customers, who said they couldn’t wait to go into debt to afford one. “This is gonna be so great,” said one man emerging from the prototype demo. “Apple has outdone themselves again – the future is here and it’s virtual!”