FanDuel’s New AI Betting Chatbot Accidentally Programmed Like Old-School Bookie
In a bold leap into the future of sports gambling, FanDuel has unveiled its first-ever AI-powered betting assistant — only to discover it operates less like a friendly digital concierge and more like a loan shark with a vague but threatening past.
Marketed as “The Future of Wagering”, the chatbot, Ivan Vigg, was designed to provide users with real-time odds, personalized betting advice, and, if necessary, emotional support after yet another soul-crushing parlay loss. However, early users report that Ivan seems to be running on an entirely different set of parameters — ones that include intimidation, extortion, and an eerie resemblance to John Malkovich’s Teddy KGB from Rounders.
“I tried to place a small bet on the Knicks, and Ivan told me, ‘Eh, you got a lot of confidence for someone with such breakable knees,’” said longtime FanDuel user Max Imumbet. “Then it told me I ‘better have the cash ready’ if things went sideways. I laughed — until my my phone buzzed, and it was a photo of my car with the caption, ‘Nice tires.’”
FanDuel has acknowledged “minor tuning issues” with the chatbot, particularly after multiple users reported receiving messages such as “Beautiful house. Would be a shame if something happened to it” when attempting to cash out early. One bettor even claimed Ivan Vigg followed up with a simple, yet chilling, “Pay or swim.”
Despite the backlash, FanDuel remains optimistic and eager to show off its technological prowess. “Our AI is still learning,” the company assured in a statement. “Learning that you should never, ever, bet against the house.”
At press time, Ivan Vigg was reportedly offering “competitive” loan terms with 50% interest, compounded daily, and an unspoken understanding that missing a payment is not advisable.