Man Achieves First Known Clean Banana Peel

In what witnesses described as "a moment of unsettling perfection," local man Ben Anapeal stunned onlookers by performing what experts believe to be the first documented case of peeling a banana without getting any residue on his fingers.

The incident, which occurred at a downtown diner during the morning rush, left several patrons visibly shaken. "He just… did it. It's unnatural," whispered a longtime waitress. "I've served thousands of bananas in my career. There's always a little remnant. Always."

The incident has sparked fierce debate within the professional eating circuit. "This changes everything we thought we knew about banana consumption," said 7-time champion Sly Perry. "We're going to have to rewrite all the manuals. Honestly, it’s bananas."

Support groups have emerged on Facebook and elsewhere for those struggling to cope with the new standard. "I've been eating bananas the messy way all of my life," said a group organizer Ariel Oh. "Now my kids won't even look at me when I peel one."

Critics have accused Anapeal of using performance-enhancing gloves, though no evidence has surfaced to support these claims. "Nobody just wakes up one day and peels a banana clean," insisted a skeptic. "It's just not possible without some kind of artificial assistance. There’s just no way to do the second peel without touching the banana."

The event has led to a surge in banana sales across the country, with countless hopefuls attempting to replicate Anapeal’s immaculate technique. Despite the chaos, Anapeal has remained remarkably humble amidst the frenzy. “I didn’t mean to cause a banana split among people,” he said, brushing off the accolades. “I just wanted a snack.” He concluded, “I never thought peeling a banana could be such a slippery slope.”